What If?
by SeraphimeRising
Summary: Either way, Teddy was either going to lose the love of his life or his life. Warning: angst, sexual situations, infidelity


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Nor do I make any money. I do this for fun 0;)**

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**What if**

_What if?_

Those two simple words hung unspoken in the oppressive air filling the room in which Teddy was standing as his wedding grew closer the more the second hands ticked to the appointed time. His hair darkening to a mousy brown with every passing minute as the question taunted him as he stood staring out the window; lost in the moment - staring at long red hair with freckled, peaches-and-cream skin clad in a mint green sundress that he knew brought out her pale green eyes.

_What if?_

That simple question folded upon itself again and again like an origami crane as his mind went into over drive.

_What if he had the courage..._

To walk down the stairs and straight to her - in front of his entire adopted family, on the yard of the Burrow, moments before he was suppose to marry into the family, to another member of the family and take the beautiful red head, the one he had tasted a lifetime ago and should never have walked away from, into his arms before capturing her lips. Her beautiful full lips that he remembered tasted of strawberries, of them being full, soft, and inviting, of them relenting to his silent demands, of them being what he dreamed a woman's lips to be. And nothing like what Victoire's had ever felt like.

In her lips, he had found what heaven tasted like.

_What if he possessed the courage..._

To take the young woman who had invaded his thoughts and fantasies uninvited. The woman he dreamed of withering under his body. Her beautiful body nude, arching into his from his touch. Her voice moaning in pleasure with his names on her lips. The sounds that he was teetering on forgetting. The sounds she made on that April day, the two of them exploring each other's body for the first time: here at the Burrow, out by the pond, as a steady April shower came down around them. He had no idea how he got out there with her that day but all that mattered anymore was that he had. He had allowed her to pull him out the back door after he waited an hour for Victoire before she sent him a message that she wouldn't be meeting him that day. He had relented to her taking his hand as he moaned about Victoire's rudeness as she teased him sarcastically about Victoire's tendency to always think of herself first.

His heart stopped beating after they took a tumble to the ground, one of them tripping over something. He found himself laying on top of her, her body pinned perfectly underneath his, her eyes still smiling, her voice still laughing until everything changed. His life suddenly became more complicated as he couldn't resist the pull of her until his lips found hers that first time.

In that moment, he found himself drowning and he didn't want to stop.

_What if he had the will..._

To take the young woman who had invaded his thoughts and fantasies uninvited. The woman he dreamed of whimpering and moaning under his body. Her beautiful body nude, arching into his from his touch. Her voice moaning in pleasure with his names on her lips. The sounds that he was teetering on forgetting. The sounds she made on that April day, the two of them exploring each other's bodies for the first time: here at the Burrow, out by the pond, as a steady April shower came down around them. He had no idea how he got out there with her that day but all that mattered anymore was that he had. He had allowed her to pull him out the back door after he waited an hour for Victoire before she sent him a message that she wouldn't be meeting him that day. He had relented to Lily taking his hand as he moaned about Victoire's rudeness and she teased him sarcastically about Victoire's tendency to always think of herself first.

His heart stopped beating after they took a tumble to the ground, one of them tripping over something. He found himself laying on top of her, her body pinned perfectly underneath his, her eyes still smiling, her voice still laughing until everything changed. His life suddenly became more complicated as he couldn't resist the pull of her until his lips found hers that first time.

In that moment, he found himself drowning and he didn't want to stop. He hadn't wanted to stop the moment she kissed him back. Or the moment her hands slipped underneath his shirt.

And when she whispered, "Please Teddy, please." Pleading with him as that spring rain began to fall, he couldn't deny himself or her. She looked so beautiful with her pale, green eyes swirling in lust; her long red hair darkening the longer the rain went on; her face so sweet and innocent. Her lips whispering, "Please Teddy, you don't know how long I have wanted this. Wanted you. Please Teddy."

In that split second he thought of all he could lose, if he did this – took what was being offered, took exactly what he wanted - the beautiful nymph begging him to take this tumble off the edge with her.

"Love me," she whispered so quietly he barely heard the words but they went straight to his heart and his soul giving his courage the foothold he had been grasping for in that moment.

He just wish he possesed that courage now: to claim Lily as his own, her heart, mind, soul, and body.

Just as she had claimed his a lifetime ago. The part of him that had been missing since his courage failed him that Christmas Eve night. And so he stayed with Victoire, though she had given him an out.

He just wished he had had the courage to do right by Lily and had taken her hand that snowy winter night.

_What if he had the will..._

To walk away from his first love. The one he thought would be his only love: on their wedding day, in front of her family, his chosen family and friends. Could he bring himself to ruin her wedding day? Could he bring himself to alienate the only family he had, just to take a chance on a certain redhead who didn't make his days so dark, his life so bleak?

Shaking his head, he knew that he couldn't do that to Victoire, not after all their years together. All the fighting and making up. He knew he loved her and would always love her but he wanted more.

He wanted the earth-shattering, mind-blowing feeling he got with her. He wanted the kisses that revitalized his soul, tore at his very being. He longed for the heated caresses and the joyous laughter that rattled his mind. He longed for those moments, sated, the lingering kisses and caresses remained as they nuzzled, cuddled, and laughed. Those intimated moments so playful, so wonderful - nothing like he had ever experienced with Victoire, who treated their most intimate encounters as a chore and not something to be enjoyed.

Collapsing on the bed, he buried his head in his hands. For in that moment, he no longer had the will to keep living the lie he found himself in. He had to do what was right by Victoire.

_What if..._

"What if I asked you not to do this?" a throaty voice whispered. "That I've decided I won't let you do this."

Looking up, his eyes locked with Lily's. She quietly closed the door behind her and moved over to him. His eyes never left the ones he knew he would love the rest of his days.

Whispering as she knelt before him, he said, "I'm not."

"Good," she whispered, her hand caressing his cheek. The touch that he thought he would never feel again. The one he had almost forgotten. The soft fingers that knowingly seduced him. "I wasn't looking forward to interrupting the wedding."

"Lily, I'm so sorry," he whispered back. "I should never chosen her. All I have thought about these last few years is you and how I missed you, your laugh, your smile, your touch."

"And I should have fought harder. You are the only thing I have ever given up on and the only regret I have."

"Your family is going to hate me," he sadly whispered, his eyes leaving hers as he admitted the biggest reason for denying to himself who he really should be with.

"Yes, more than likely."

Teddy's head popped up at the matter-of-fact tone in which Lily spoke. She continued, "Well it's true. Then Victoire will finally admit to what is really going on with Nott and then you will be forgiven."

"What?"

"You aren't the only one wanting to call this hoax off."

Teddy stared at her and whispered, "Why didn't you say something?"

He watched as she pulled back and painfully replied, "Because I wanted you to choose me this time before you had a chance to choose me as a consolation prize."

Grabbing her face with both hands, he said, "You have never been nor will you ever be the consolation prize. Walking away from you has been the worst mistake of my life."

"Really?" she whispered, the tears forming in her eyes and starting to slip out.

Falling to his knees in front of her, he pulled her in and captured her lips.

He felt her hands grab his dress robes and pull him closer. When she started to kiss him back, he found himself drowning in those lips that he had missed, the smell of her - the wondrous combination of Christmas trees and hazelnuts, the feel of her body pressing against his. He knew that he had been a fool to let this go, the love of his life, for the noble reasons of not wanting to hurt his first friend, his first best friend, his first love, his first lover.

"I don't know what's more troubling," a distinctive male voice caused them to stop kissing, though their lips never left each other. Which wasn't probably a good thing as they had been caught by her father. "Walking in on Victoire shagging Nott on her wedding day or my godson kissing my daughter on his wedding day. Care to explain?"

_Fin._


End file.
